BY MYSELF. The numbness has worn off. The family went through boxes and boxes of photos to create a visual of the Rose Man’s life. We laughed and shared happy memories. After all, no one takes pictures of unhappy times. Our grandson then scanned the pictures and our granddaughter put them in chronological order and added music from the list we liked. That’s when the numbness wore off; watching the film with music. Music does that; connects the mind with the heart. It’s raw emotion; makes it hard to drawn a breath. Now, just about anything can trigger the tears. Grief I find is all consuming — no shortcuts.
We’ve planned a memorial service, a celebration of the Rose Man’s life. Three of my spiritual teachers, Jewish Rabbi, Muslim Imam, and Christian Pastor have signed on to lead the service, and two of my favorite vocalists will sing. And we have a 17 year old trumpet player to open with Over the Rainbow. It will be a beautiful service to honor a life well-lived and man well-loved. I have a week now before the service to watch the DVD created by our grandchildren, over and over again, to bring on the tears until I dry up and the music no longer triggers that achingly painful sorrow. Not one tear will be wasted.
Meanwhile, I heard a song on the radio the other day — By Myself. The lyrics hit home: I’ll try to apply myself, And teach my heart how to sing. I’ll face the unknown, I’ll build a world of my own. No one knows better than I myself, I’m by myself alone.
It’s beginning to sink in.
rosesinjanuarydotcom 
My Dear Cousin, you may think you are alone, but we are never “alone”. You will get through the next week and one day at a time you will be filled with that peace that passes all understanding. You are loved. Judeeeeeee
Love and light to you as you grieve! Feel all that comes to you and allow for the cleansing and renewal of tears. Peace will come as it will and in it’s own time. Know that you are deeply loved. Anna Marie
Dear Barb,
Your home and yard are filled with angles. The angels and I honor your tears; may you also honor them. Remember the love, be gentle to yourself, Spirit loves you unconditionally.Call the many people who one you as you feel the desire.
Love & Light Keela
Dearest Barb – blessings be upon you. There is nothing easy about these days of grief, and nothing to be said or done to make it so. In whatever way I can be of comfort, know that I am always here.